Tiger Text App Coming Soon #PGA

File this one under the great idea about six or seven years too late. A California company is launching an iPhone application that will allow you to kill text messages after you have sent them. The company is calling it TigerText, but claim that it is named after the animal that is hard to track and not the golfer who couldn’t keep his pants on or his hands off Florida area pancake waitresses.

"Tigers are notoriously difficult animals to track," the software makers said, noting the app was being launched in the Lunar Year of the Tiger. "TigerTexts are difficult to track as well."

Uh, sure, whatever you say. This is a great idea that I am sure will never lead to any possible arguments among married people. The whole “why do you need to send private texts anyway?” conversation should be a lot of fun.

If we have learned anything from the Tiger fiasco, and we haven’t, it is that you hire a goon to send your text messages. You get some flunky, some dweeb, to send and receive all incriminating texts and phone calls. NEVER leave your name/voice/telephone number on someone’s phone that you don’t want to be associated with. Outsource that kind of stuff.

Either that, or you know, don’t be a horrible husband. That’s option B, I guess.

Good luck with TigerText. And for the record, is there anything that an iPhone can’t do? Once it figured out how to help you cheat on your wife, didn't we cross into some dark place we can’t get back out of?

blog comments powered by Disqus