‘Thin-Chested’ Lakers Getting Paid For Charges
Laker team photo
By Brian Beckner:
Lest anyone begin to think that professional athletes have ascended from infancy, a story from the never-ending death slog known as the NBA playoffs should quickly dispel that myth. The Los Angeles Lakers have taken to cash incentives to get their players to, you know, play basketball.
From ESPN.com:
The Los Angeles Lakers have never been known as a team that takes offensive charges. They are trying to change that. Last series, Phil Jackson called his big men "thin-chested" as a way of goading them into standing strong and taking a hit, and the team has been offering financial incentive -- $50 per charge.
How cute. Finally someone has developed a system of motivating a group of adult males that earn multi-million dollar salaries for playing a playground game…twice a week. These guys know that stepping in front of the guy from the other team with the ball is kind of the point of the whole thing, right?
Sure, the NBA playoffs are tragically long and hopelessly dull. It’s like the Terri Schiavo of professional finals, there may be a pulse but you’d have look closely to know they’re alive. The players probably tend to get nearly as bored as the fans (assuming that’s possible), but $50 for doing your job? Isn’t meal money like $250? What’s next? Will Phil have to grease Gasol a hunsky to get him to take the tip? Does Kobe just stand at the free throw line with his hand out like a Vegas bellhop?
The best part is that despite Phil Jackson’s toddler training program, the Lake Show still won’t mix it up in the paint.
More from the WWL:
Assistant coach Frank Hamblin, who monitors the fines and payouts, said the team has been rewarding players for charges since late last season and the competition has intensified in the playoffs, although he admitted that "very few guys are getting charge money."
"Luke got one the other night; it was kind of shaky but we gave it to him anyway," Hamblen said. "Fish is our best charge-taker so far."
Maybe the Lakers are just too big for this kind of training? Or maybe Adam Morrison and DJ Mbenga are just too consumed with getting the pee pee into the potty?
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