Posted by Travis Rodgers on Jun 8, 2010

Bud Selig, As Ineffectual As He Looks #MLB

I am not a ‘draft guy’. Never have been, probably never will be. Doesn’t interest me. Players will end up where they end up, and will either be great, good, average, busts, or Ryan Leaf or Chris Washburn.

The endless speculation on the draft is completely lost on me.

That said, the telecasts of the various professional sports drafts is fairly interesting. Or at least it is interesting to the point of analyzing the commissioners of each sport and how they handle their duties on draft night.

Roger Goodell, in charge. He commands the room. Goodell is the guy who sends players home for half the season they they get a little handsy in Atlanta-area bars or when they ‘make it rain’ in strip clubs. He looks like the boss. He looks like he could sit on one side of a long conference room table and negotiate a multi-billion dollar television contract. He looks like the kind of guy who could take you out behind the auditorium and kick your ass if he didn’t get his way. He wears a suit and is a serious man.

David Stern is in charge. He may not be as physically imposing as Goodell, but he is twice as terrifying. He wouldn’t be the guy to take you out back and wipe the floor with your face, but he knows five guys from the neighborhood who will do it for him, and then he will explain why he did it to you and how it was for your own good. He owns the podium. He is a foot and a half shorter than the guys who walk up to shake his hand and the 7-footers are the ones who cower in his presence. He is smarter than you, he is tougher than you, and you will not beat him. He wears a suit and is a serious man.

Bud Selig is, well, I don’t know what Bud Selig is. I know what he isn’t. Commanding. Impressive. Imposing. Scary. In charge. His act during the MLB Draft last night was equal parts laughable and pathetic. Before each announcement, he would sheepishly walk in front of the podium, loudly, and repulsively clear his throat directly into the mic, flip his greasy, poorly trimmed hair off his brow, squint at the card, and announce the pick.

No command, no presence. Trust me, neither David Stern nor Roger Goodell would pronounce the city of Los Angeles as ‘Los An-juh-leez’. Really? This is the guy that you are going to send in front of people? In front of corporations? This is the guy that was going to clean up roids and bring economic parity to a sport in desperate need of reform? Los An-juh-leez?

Bud Selig wears a ill-fitting sports coat, wrinkled slacks, and has a $4 haircut. And yes, it does matter. Appearance matters. Always has, always will.

The NFL and NBA have professional serious men as their leaders.

America’s pastime has a public face that should be selling me a vacuum cleaner at Wal-Mart.

And if hockey still existed, I am sure they would have someone better too.