Tiger Air Assault #PGA
By Brian Beckner:
In an effort to complete the furthest popularity plummet in the history of sports, once-great golfer Tiger Woods is not content to simply humiliate his wife, wreck his ride, embarrass his sponsors, destroy his game and single-handedly annihilate the International House of Pancakes one waitress at a time. He’s got a new plan.
Last weekend Woods took Operation Fall from Grace into phase two, the Grassroots Campaign. Woods knows that despite his best efforts to alienate everyone that ever considered supporting him there are still those for whom no amount of stripper sex can sully the Woods name. For those diehards, Woods has elevated his game. Beginning at the Memorial, Tiger has started a tee shot carpet bombing crusade against anyone that has the misfortune to find themselves standing within 100 yards (either right or left) of his designated fairway.
From Golf.com:
On his first swing on the first hole, Woods pulled his drive left and drilled 37-year-old Jeramy May in the neck. "I'm just glad they were on the other side," May said, pointing toward his daughter and a friend.
On the second hole, Woods hit 19-year-old Alan Flood in the back of his left leg as he was standing far left of the fairway. Then at the 15th hole, Jimmy Craig of suburban Columbus was in the right rough when Woods' drive hit him in the thumb and then the side.
Take that, Tiger Woods fans. You want to follow Eldrick, be prepared to get a daisy cutter bounced off of the side of that sweet “TW” lid. One fan at time, Tiger is making sure that everyone hates him before this is over. Lest the crowds thin and the environment become less target rich for all of Tiger’s fat men and little boys, he’s playing it cool with a cold war era KGB specialty, the autographed golf glove.
More from Golf.com:
Every time Tiger Woods hits a spectator with a ball, he tries to make it up to them by giving them an autographed golf glove.
He was running low on gloves Sunday at the Memorial Tournament.
"No kidding, huh? I kept hitting everybody out there today," Woods said with a wide grin. "Thank God I get them for free!"
Ha! Clearly he hasn’t lost that wicked sense of humor, but what’s he really saying? Tiger knows that with each carpet bombing campaign (not to mention his name absent from the leader board) his galleries will slowly start to lose potential victims, errrr supporters. So he throws out a free glove here and there in an effort to look sympathetic, but what the unsuspecting soon-to-be Mickelson fans don’t realize is that a Predator drone lurks overhead about to deploy a full payload of weaponized Nike Ones. Incoming!
View Comments to “Tiger Air Assault #PGA”
Leave a Reply
follow the feed
  |
Listen on your mobile device!
Hhe article's content rich variety which make us move for our mood after imogen-heap reading this article. surprise, here you will find what you want! Recently, I found some wedsites which commodity is colorful of fashion. Such as shoe that worth you to see. nike air max Believe me these websites won’t let you down.
i'm adding your blog rss feed so that i can see your new posts. keep up the good work!
i thought this was a really great post to read. i'll check back for new posts by you!
hi,i like your weblog, will be referring a lot of friends about this. Keep blogging. Looking forward to reading your next post.if you are interested in watching dvds, you can visit our website: One Tree Hill on dvd
hey there, this might be little offtopic, but i am hosting my site on hostgator and they will suspend my hosting in 4days, so i would like to ask you which hosting do you use or recommend?
hey there, this might be little offtopic, but i am hosting my site on hostgator and they will suspend my hosting in 4days, so i would like to ask you which hosting do you use or recommend?