US Open Preview #PGA

Who will matter, who won’t, and other things that will happen starting Thursday at the US Open in Pebble Beach. A player-by-player look at the Open.

Course...Breath-taking. Historic. Beautiful. Legendary. Classic. And any other superlative you want to throw on Pebble Beach. It is as good as advertised, and truth be told, probably even better.

Tiger Woods...He may be a punch line and a mediocre player right now, but he is still the biggest story every single time he shows up to play golf. And that sure as hell isn’t going to change with a Euro tabloid journalist  claiming that Tiger has fathered a ‘love child’. Because that’s what he needs, another trip down Skank Road. Can’t we just enjoy him not being able to play anymore, do we really have to re-live him sexing the entire planet for the last 10 years? Actually, we kind of do. He makes cut, doesn’t contend and TV types will mention his 15-shot runaway in 2000 about 4.3 trillion times. Oh, and if he thinks this is bad, wait until he goes across the pond next month and the Brit tabs get a run at him up close and personal.

Phil Mickelson...Lefty will be close, but won’t finish. Again. That’s what he does. It isn’t the driver, or even his questionable decision making, but rather his inability to consistently make short putts under extreme pressure. He may have passed Tiger in fan popularity, for good reason, but the US Open trophy will never be his. He will also be seen wearing gear that would be too small on Tim Clark, much less someone of Lefty’s considerable proportions. You are not a medium, get over it. In fact, there should probably be a second ‘X’ on all of your clothing.

Steve Stricker...Maybe one of the nicest guys on Tour and one of the most popular players among other pros, but Stricker needs to win something. This might be it. Straight driver, excellent short game, and a brilliant putter. Time to get it done.

Dustin Johnson...Yes, he has won the regular Tour event the last two years. No, it doesn’t matter. the set up for the Open is so drastically different than the set up for the stop in February that the only thing that is the same is the ocean. More narrow fairways, much faster greens, much higher rough. Johnson is a very good player, and he will not contend. Why? Because people think he will.

Lee Westwood...Has been in the mix for majors for years and closed none of them. I hope he’s back for another run, for no other reason than for more close-ups of his extraordinarily British teeth. He is going to get his major. He’s too good and been too close too many times for it not to happen. Then again, that’s what everyone said about Colin Montgomerie and well, you know.

Sergio Garcia...Let me ask you a question. Do you know anyone who doesn’t hate this guy? Media, other players, fans, anyone who has ever heard him speak? Even the other Euros barely tolerate his presence every other year during the Ryder Cup. The biggest whiner, biggest baby in not only golf, but in all of sports. Never forget he blamed a prolonged slump on breaking up with his girlfriend. Get over it. He will get heckled, he will react.

Ernie Els...Two-time US Open winner who has no chance this week, and I don’t care that he has played well this season. Ernie has lost the ability to close and this tournament takes a closer. Good guy, likes his beer, but he doesn’t win. Still the best swing to watch on TV from a guy not named Fred Couples.

Paul Casey...Despite the fact that he as an unhealthy affection for white belts, the guy can play. He is a world class player ready to break through. If he gets out fast, he will be a real player. Can he close? Not yet he hasn’t.

Lucas Glover...Will get tons of attention as defending champion. Won’t be a factor. No Curtis Strange back-to-back going to happen.

Tim Clark...Short knocker who can play his ass off. Pebble set up relatively short for US Open, a little over 7,000 yards. Always a threat in majors and recently broke through with a win on the Tour. Good pick. Plus, has cool South African accent. If his caddy had any balls at all he would break out the vuvuzelas during his shots.

Some Random Guy From Your Local Course...Someone you don’t know, who no one knows, will be on top of, or near the top of the leaderboard after Thursday’s round. By Friday afternoon, he will have shot 83, and you won’t even remember his name.

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