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Michael Vick is Off the Hook, Just Ask Him

By Brian Beckner: Everybody can relax. It’s time for us to stand down. Chillax, it’s no biggie. Michael Vick had nothing to with that shooting at his birthday party. How do we know that? He told us. Here’s a portion of Mike Vick’s statement courtesy of Philly.com: "On June 25, 2010 I attended a...
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Brian Cushing Gets a Spanking

The canister is filled with hCG. By Brian Beckner: By now everyone knows that Houston Texans linebacker Brian Cushing will miss the first four games of the coming NFL season after testing positive for a banned substance. Although it should be noted that Cushing maintains his innocence and has reportedly...
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JaMarcus Russell: Draft and Belt Bust #NFL

Very fat, and very unskilled. By Brian Beckner: It has been widely reported that NFL lump JaMarcus Russell is soon to be ex-NFL lump JaMarcus Russell, and if tradition holds, eventually broke ex-NFL lump JaMarcus Russell. But word comes now, that Mount JaMarcus NFL “career” may have a glimmer of hope. ...
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Dez Bryant and the Million Dollar Question #NFL

I swear not to tell the truth. Job interviews can be rough. These days most companies go with the behavioral interview. That’s the one where they ask you to tell them about things you have done or would do. For instance, “tell me about a time that you were faced with a crisis and how you dealt with...
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Roethlisberger Issues Statement About His Pants #NFL

Big Ben Roethlisberger managed not to sexually assault anyone last night, errr, go bar hopping, and instead issued a statement saying that he will accept NFL commissioner Roger Goodell’s 6-game suspension. Consider yourselves warned, ladies. "The commissioner's decision to suspend me speaks clearly that...
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