NHL Continues to be Stupid #NHL

I know less than nothing when it comes to hockey and the NHL. I know that there are people who love it, who defend it with great passion and think it is the greatest game ever invented. Then there is the other 98% of the populace.

I do know this however; what happened to Bruins' center Marc Savard was a huge reason why hockey will never be more than a niche sport at the NHL level in this country. Savard took an elbow from Penguins' forward Matt Cooke that turned off his lights, dropped him to the ice and then had him taken out of the rink on a strecther. The shot was cheap, dirty, and from the blind side. A vicious, flagrant hit that was thrown for no other reason than to try and hurt his opponent.

I don’t want to hear about code, or honor, or not knowing the game. I agree, I know none of those things. But I know thuggery and senseless violence when I see it and I saw it yesterday in Pittsburgh. The code, the rest of the BS that is used to cover a senseless assault, is just that, crap.

There is no reasonable explanation for that kind of play. The Olympics were great. That kind of hockey might actually have a chance to appeal to non-hockey fans. NHL hockey, with those kind of hits being the only thing that someone watching ESPN might see, is dead in the water.

The instances of goonery might be rare, but not rare enough. I like watching Ray Lewis smash into Ben Roethlisberger as much as the next guy. I like a hard hit and controlled mayhem too, but that kind of play is chickenbleep. The league needs to make an example of guys like Cooke who throw cheap dangerous hits; otherwise, the league will continue to be the most popular sports league that Versus has to offer.

Being Ron Artest #NBA

Unoriginal

The Lakers dropped their third straight, finished their road trip 0-3, and have their first three game losing streak since they made the trade for Pau Gasol back on February 1, 2008. Fine, whatever, who cares. It doesn't interest me. It’s the NBA and until the snow has melted across the country, the games really don’t mean a whole hell of a lot.

What does interest me is Ron Artest starting to behave like Ron Artest. That could be fun. That will almost certainly be fun. Artest showed up in Orlando yesterday with blonde hair, and the word ‘defense’ carved into his lettuce in three different languages; Japanese, Hebrew and Hindi. Right. Allow me to speculate a little bit and take a wild guess that maybe, maybe, maybe Ron Artest doesn’t speak Japanese, Hebrew, or Hindi. I could be wrong, but I am willing to bet that maybe I’m not.

If they are telling me it says ‘defense’, then I guess it says defense. But I know this; Ron Artest sure as hell doesn’t know for sure what it says. Awesome.

Phil Jackson might ask him to add a different word after the performace he submitted yesterday afternoon.

From the Los Angeles Times:

“He had a struggle tonight. Couldn’t make a shot and everything was a foul of Carter. Ron really didn’t get a chance to play the defense he’s touted to play.”

Ron's response was quintessential Artest, “I’m very happy with the way I played. I take the good with the bad. I played great.” If you say so, Ron.

Coming attractions?

This is a perfect storm to set Ron off. Criticism from the coach, not playing well, and trying to draw attention to himself with a weak attempt at impersoanting Dennis Rodman. Ron, we have seen this before; you are going to have to find a new stunt. Dying your hair and being crazy is played, it’s old. Even the foreign languages aren’t an original twist. You need to do more.

Let’s hope that the Raptors roll into town on Tuesday night, take the Lakers apart and put Ron one step closer to losing it. He’s on his way. Dyed hair, foreign languages and his coach saying he played poorly. We are only one loser with a plastic cup away from something very interesting taking place.

MIlton Bradley is Still Insane #MLB

Here, diagonally!

Renewal, rebirth, hope springs eternal and all that stuff. Spring training. The same drill every season. Four or five teams come into the spring with a legitimate chance to win the World Series, while the 25 or so others lie to themsevles about ‘if they catch a few breaks anything can happen.’ Uh, no they can’t. I don’t care how many breaks the Pirates, Royals, Blue Jays and the like catch, they have 0.00% chance of playing a game that matters after May 1st.

Things just don’t change. Like Milton Bradley being a disturbed psycho who thinks the world is out to get him. He says that the struggles he had in Chicago with the Cubs last season were not his fault.

From the New York Times ‘Bats’ blog:

“Two years ago, I played, and I was good,” Bradley said. “I go to Chicago, not good. I’ve been good my whole career. So, obviously, it was something with Chicago, not me.”

This wasn't his fault either.

He added: “Just no communication. I never hit more than 22 homers in my career, and all of a sudden I get to Chicago and they expect me to hit 30. It doesn’t make sense. History tells you I’m not going to hit that many. Just a lot of things that try to make me a player I’m not.”

Right Milt. For the seventh time in your career, it was someone else’s fault. The other seven teams had it all wrong about you. You have never done anything that caused any of these problems, it was ‘the other guy’. Uh huh.

What color is the sky in your world Milton? How many pitchers do you see on the mound when you step into the batter’s box? Are there demons hanging on the outfield wall?

He’s been good his whole career? Never mind tearing off his uniform, never mind his calling a reporter an Uncle Tom, or his fighting with every authority figure he has ever encountered, that might be the craziest thing he has ever done or said. How do you define ‘good’, Milt?

By being average, not realizing your considerable potential, and getting run off of every team you have ever been a part of? .277, 20, and 76 isn’t bad, it might even be above average, but it isn’t “good.”

Enjoy your time with Uncle Milty Seattle, I am sure the eighth time is the charm.

Tiger Trap

Gotcha!

It finally happened. The first non-Tiger approved pics have surfaced since Woods crashed his rig on Thanksgiving.

TMZ, (who else), snapped a few pics of Woods practicing and getting his game in shape at Isleworth, the scene of his crime.

Amazing. Not that he is back hitting balls, or back at home, but that it took four months for anyone to get a pic of the guy. Think about that. He is probably one of the ten most famous people on the planet, and every single person who takes pics for a living, both paparazzi scum and professional photogs, was looking for the guy, and not one pic surfaced. That’s crazy!

He may be a bad husband and father, he may be the most emotionless, robotic person to ever walk 18 holes, but the dude knows how to hide. You can’t take that away from him.

The vultures at TMZ can find anyone, but they couldn’t find Tiger. They snag people in the most embarrassing situations ever, but Tiger slipped through. How?

I am curious to find out when he might play again (Bay Hill?) but I am more curious about how he managed to be a ghost for four months.

Tyson Comeback?

Pre-face tattoo.

Ringsidereport.com is reporting that Mike Tyson, formerly the Baddest Man on the Planet, is going to return to the ring for a fight with Evander Holyfield. Seriously.

Never mind that his last fight was in 2005, a sixth round loss to someone named Keith McBride, the guy needs cash and he knows that Evander is willing. At this point in his “career”, Holyfield was probably in negotiations to fight a kangaroo, and he will jump at the chance to fight a real live, washed up, human fighter.

They both need money, they are both insane, this will happen and you will watch.

Don’t laugh, you’ll watch. You’ll say you won’t, you’ll say it’s a joke, you’ll make your comments, and then you’ll get an invitation to watch it and you will jump in your car, grab a 6-pack and start making more bad jokes in front of your buddies' TV. Admit it. You want to see it.

The rest of the heavyweight division, the Euros and human Wookies that make it up, could not be less interesting to even hard core fight fans. But put a crazy, face-tatted, Hangover co-star into a ring against perhaps the most delusional man of all-time, a boxing/non-bill paying/baby-making machine, and that’s something we need to see.

They both need money.

Tyson-Holyfield III. The first fight was a classic where Evander exposed Tyson as a fraud. The second one a complete debacle when Tyson tried to eat Evander’s head, which resulted in a casino riot. God only knows what the third one will be like. Will they box? Will they hit each other with a subscription to AARP magazines? Will they throw their walkers with the tennis balls on the ends at each other?

Mike could show up with the other half of his face inked. Evander could show up with 14 more kids and Benny Hinn in his corner. The possibilities are endless. The only thing that we are guaranteed not to see is a great fight between two great athletes.

It will be a circus, it will be a horrible fight, and you are lying to yourself if you say that you won’t find a way to see it.